You’ve tried every diet. You lost weight, then gained more back. You feel like you’re the only person who can’t make it work. I get it. I spent 30 years doing the same thing.
At 40 years old, I weighed 310 pounds. I wore size 24/26 clothes. I was obese by age 9. Morbidly obese by 15. I tried everything—Keto, Weight Watchers, meal shakes. Nothing stuck.
Then I stopped following other people’s rules. I wrote my own. I lost 170 pounds in less than a year. I’ve kept it off for five years. I now wear size 6/8. This is how I did it. And how you can create your own method that actually works.
The Moment Everything Changed
I was watching a talk show about fat shaming. They put a thin woman in a fat suit to look 300 pounds. She wore hidden cameras for one day.
When she returned to the show, she was crying. Broken. She said she’d never do it again. It wasn’t very good. She felt less than human. I sat there at over 300 pounds thinking: If ONE day living like me was so terrible—how good must her life be?
I’d never been thin. I had no idea what I was missing. That night, I wanted her life. I wanted a life that was THAT much better. I stayed up all night filling a notebook.
Why Every Diet Failed Me (And Maybe You Too)
I had to be brutally honest. Thirty years of trying meant I needed something different.
I made two lists: My weaknesses and my strengths.
My Weaknesses (Deal Breakers):
I hate exercising. Not going to happen. An evening walk is fine. But gym workouts? No.
I hate plain water. Even with lemon. It makes me gag. Like trying to eat shortening.
I can’t stand diet versions of food. Cauliflower crust is not pizza. If I wanted cauliflower, I’d eat cauliflower.
If I crave something and deny it, I’ll eat 1,000 calories of other food. Then I ate what I wanted anyway. I hate counting calories. I won’t do it.
My Strengths:
I worked night shift as a nurse. My meal times were flexible. No set schedule. No kids to work around. I love diet soda and flavored water.
I don’t mind waiting to get what I really want. I have medical knowledge from nursing.
Your lists will look different. That’s the point. Your method needs to fit YOU.
The Method I Created for Myself
Here’s what I did. Remember—this worked for ME based on MY lists. You’ll need to adjust based on yours.
I Stopped Eating Three Meals a Day
We’re the only creatures who eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I eat when I’m actually hungry now. But I changed what hunger means.
If I’m Hungry But Not Craving Anything:
I have V8 juice. Or baby carrots dipped in mustard. (Sounds gross, but I love them.) Or sugar-free Jell-O cups from Walmart. They’re 5 calories each. These fill me up without many calories.
If I’m Craving Something Specific:
I wait until I can have it. Even if that means hours or days. When I finally get it, I eat however much I want. I might eat half a cheesecake. But I don’t eat a meal first. Just the thing I’m craving.
Here’s the difference: You don’t search your fridge to find what you crave. When you truly crave something, you KNOW. I like cravings now. They mean I’m about to enjoy something amazing.
Eating craved foods less often (but in full amounts) actually reduces cravings over time. That’s what happened to me. Food stopped being important. It moved way down my priority list.
I Don’t Count Calories
Some days I eat 100 calories. Other days, probably thousands. It evens out. People who include their favorite foods in their eating plan lose more weight than people who try to cut them out completely.
I Increased Small Movements Throughout the Day
I hate formal exercise. But any movement burns calories. Tapping your foot. Tightening muscles. Fidgeting. Scientists found that these small movements can burn up to 2,000 extra calories per day for different people.
I wore a rubber band on my wrist. When I caught myself sitting still, I’d snap it. This trained me to keep moving. Now it’s automatic. I don’t need the rubber band anymore.
I Keep My Taste Buds Happy
I stock tons of low-calorie drinks. Diet peach soda. Diet strawberry. Diet cream soda. Diet root beer. Diet Coke. Diet Mountain Dew. Walmart has dozens of flavored water options. This keeps me satisfied without calories.
I Weigh Once a Week (Or Less)
I didn’t want to obsess over daily changes. I go by how my clothes fit more than the scale number.
What Happened: 170 Pounds Gone
I lost 170 pounds in less than a year. Starting weight: 310 pounds, size 24/26
Current weight: 137 pounds, size 6/8. I’m 5’11”.
Yes, I have some loose skin. I’ll get it removed someday. But it’s not that noticeable. My knees don’t hurt anymore. I can grab a plain t-shirt and jeans and feel great. Before, I’d search for shirts that didn’t stick to my rolls. People smile at me now. Talk to me. They’re kinder. I met the love of my life.
That talk show woman was right. Life really is this much better.
Five Years Later: How I Keep It Off
I’ve maintained this weight for five years. It’s effortless now. These habits are just part of my life.
I still eat when I’m hungry. I still honor my cravings. I still move throughout the day. I’m very active. My boyfriend is an archaeologist. We go hiking all the time. But I’m not doing formal workouts at a gym.
My blood tests are excellent. I’m no longer at risk for diabetes.
Supplements I Take:
Centrum for Women multivitamin (not the generic—get one made for women). Protein drinks when I haven’t had much protein in a few days
Vitamin C and calcium (I took these before losing weight, too). The best part? Food doesn’t control my life anymore.
There’s a saying: “Find a job you love and you’ll never work another day.” That’s how this feels. It’s not working. It’s just how I live.
How to Create Your Own Method
You can’t copy my plan exactly. Your weaknesses and strengths are different. But you can use my process.
Step 1: Do Your Honest Audit (30-60 Minutes)
Get a notebook. Write two sections: Weaknesses and Strengths.
For Weaknesses, Ask:
What diet rules have I broken every single time?
What activities do I hate? (Be honest. No one is watching.)
What “healthy” foods make me miserable?
What restrictions always make me quit?
What have I tried 10 times that never works?
Possible Deal Breakers:
Formal exercise programs. Drinking plain water
Eating breakfast when you’re not hungry. Never eating certain foods
Tracking calories in apps. Meal prep every Sunday
For Strengths, Ask:
What’s my work schedule like? Do I have flexibility? Do I have to cook for a family or just myself? What healthy options do I actually enjoy?
Step 2: Circle Your Deal Breakers
These are things you will NOT do. That’s okay. Accept them. Your plan needs to work around these, not fight them.
Step 3: Build Around Your Strengths
What advantages can you use? How can your schedule help you? What comes naturally?
Step 4: Design Your Eating Pattern
Based on YOUR lists, not mine.
Must feel sustainable for years, not weeks.
Examples to consider:
- Eating only when truly hungry
- Eating in a time window that fits your day
- Planning meals vs. deciding daily
- Including favorite foods vs. finding swaps
- Using a hunger scale (1-10) to guide when you eat
Step 5: Create Your Movement Plan
What movement don’t you hate?
Can you add small movements throughout your day instead of formal exercise?
Options:
- Walking while listening to podcasts
- Standing more during the day
- Dancing to music
- Playing with kids or pets
- Taking stairs
- Parking farther away
- Constant small movements (like I did)
Step 6: Test for 2-4 Weeks
Pay attention to how it FEELS, not just the scale. Ask yourself: Can I do this forever? Am I miserable? If yes to miserable, change something. Go back to your lists.
What About Common Concerns?
“Isn’t eating whatever you crave unhealthy?”
I’m not eating whatever, whenever. I’m waiting for real cravings, then satisfying them fully. For regular hunger, I use low-calorie options. This approach works better long-term than trying to never eat what you want.
“How can you lose weight without counting calories?”
By eating low-calorie foods for general hunger and only eating larger amounts when I truly crave specific things. This creates a calorie deficit naturally.
Some days I eat very little. Other days more. It balances out over time.
“What if I’m hungry all the time?”
Figure out what type of hunger it is. Bored? Thirsty? Habit? Emotional hunger feels different than physical hunger.
Keep low-calorie options available always. V8. Veggies. Sugar-free Jell-O.
“Don’t you need exercise to lose weight?”
Exercise alone doesn’t make up for eating too much. Weight loss comes from the balance between calories in and calories out.
I’m very active now—hiking, walking, moving constantly. I just don’t do structured gym workouts.
“Is this safe?”
I’ve maintained a healthy weight for five years. My blood work is excellent. I’m no longer at diabetes risk. I take vitamins and protein when needed.
As a nurse, I monitor my health.
“What if my weaknesses are totally different?”
Perfect. They should be. Maybe you love exercise. Maybe you need structure. Create YOUR plan based on YOUR lists.
One More Thing About Criticism
Some people say this looks extreme. It’s not.
Eating when you’re hungry is normal. I’m not against exercise—I live an active life. If you love workouts, that’s great for you.
I’m healthy. My blood tests prove it. I’ve been at a healthy weight for five years.
The point isn’t to copy my exact plan. The point is learning that your diet should be built around YOU.
Not me. Not some guru. Not a meal plan company.
You.